| The year is 2036. 10:55 - Apr 17 with 705 views | ZedRodgers |
The pitch at Portman Road has just been replaced by a dynamic LED subscription surface (fans on the Basic Matchday Tier can only see it in 480p). The first team squad are now referred to as “Brand Ambassadors".
Season tickets, of course, were scrapped years ago - an inefficient relic of a bygone era when football clubs mistakenly believed fans were just customers rather than renewable revenue streams.
Instead, fans can now Secure Your Seat® all season for just £100 on top of your usual matchday subscription (per half, per limb - T&Cs apply). Those who upgrade to the Secure Your Seat® Platinum Exclusivity Pass will receive an NFT of their chosen seat (subject to dynamic availability and a modest surge multiplier).
The proposal has been met with enthusiastic compliance.
“Just £100 per limb on top of my matchday subscription? Fair enough. It's about time we all stepped up to contribute a bit more to the transfer kitty.”
“If you can’t even afford the basic matchday tier, maybe football isn’t for you anymore.”
"I think it's about right. Running costs are sky-rocking because of the civil war, and I can always enter another round of clinical trials if I need to".
“Back in my day we had to pay a flat membership fee just for a chance at a ticket, and all you got was a flask and a keyring. Now we get a choice of loyalty tiers and free NFT. Fans today don’t know they’re born.” |  |
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| The year is 2036. on 11:22 - Apr 17 with 579 views | _CliveBaker_ |
Brilliant Zed.
Do you remember when we used to have a 'half time'? I much prefer the 6 'nutrition windows' per game, if you go on the app you can order the exact same Powerade refreshments the players are drinking for only £29.99, delivered by drone within 5 minutes.
We'll still be debating which of Sir Bobby or Sir Alf deserves the accolade of our greatest Head of Brand Performance though, or managers as they were called back then. |  | | |
| The year is 2036. on 12:34 - Apr 17 with 419 views | Broadbent23 |
The future of football is having no supporters in the ground with all round sound. Generally supporters are the last consideration for clubs. Then you can have a world audience through TV and the media. Players will be robots and external supporters will pick the side from donations. Managers will be created by AI. VAR might even be enjoyable. |  |
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| The year is 2036. on 12:57 - Apr 17 with 343 views | mistert |
I'm having my kidney harvested in the 'Discounts for Donors' promotion. 10% off merchandise is a great deal.
The Portman Pies also taste better than ever in 2036! [Post edited 17 Apr 13:46]
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| The year is 2036. on 13:13 - Apr 17 with 265 views | Hugoagogo_Reborn |
I'm having my eyeballs surgically removed and transferred to the new 'premium viewing zone' at Portman Superdome. There, you can pick a player and see through their eyes the whole match, or you can choose dugout view to see Kieran McRobot's perspective. There are 156 other viewing perspectives
Meanwhile, back home, my eyeballs have been replaced with ITFC-crested orbs, that glow in the dark and play Edward Ebenezer Jeremiah Brown at night in the style of a lullaby. |  |
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