| Just sitting at the cemetery… 14:16 - Jun 6 with 2866 views | hoppy |
Our son would’ve been 11 years old today.
So just went to have a bit of quiet Dad / son time.
RIP CT x
What I wasn’t quite ready for was when I just got back in the car, turned the engine on to open the window, and the Bee Gees “Staying Alive” was playing on Radio Suffolk. Sad, but slightly amusing at the same time. CT must’ve had his dads sense of humour and that was from him, I suspect! |  |
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| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 14:19 - Jun 6 with 2804 views | GlasgowBlue |
💙 |  |
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| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 14:20 - Jun 6 with 2799 views | BloomBlue |
It was probably his early father's day present to you  |  | | |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 14:23 - Jun 6 with 2782 views | hoppy |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 14:20 - Jun 6 by BloomBlue |
It was probably his early father's day present to you |
He’s on a roll… they followed that up with The Beatles - Help, and then Men at Work - Down Under. | |
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| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 14:40 - Jun 6 with 2706 views | Shineyblueknives |
I had a similar experience when I went back to work after nearly jumping off the 8 story works car park.
Just as I started driving into the car park, I could hear Van Halen - Jump |  |
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| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 14:59 - Jun 6 with 2599 views | Whos_blue |
That's tough Hoppy.
Hope you and your family are OK.
Same goes for Shiney. Hope you've worked your issues out ok and are finding joy in life. |  |
| "Look, I don't wanna be the same as everybody else. That's why I'm a Mod, see?" |
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| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 16:03 - Jun 6 with 2439 views | BloomBlue |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 14:23 - Jun 6 by hoppy |
He’s on a roll… they followed that up with The Beatles - Help, and then Men at Work - Down Under. |
That was your Christmas present | | | |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 16:41 - Jun 6 with 2337 views | BlueNomad |
Big hug Hoppy. |  | | |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 16:44 - Jun 6 with 2333 views | hoppy |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 14:40 - Jun 6 by Shineyblueknives |
I had a similar experience when I went back to work after nearly jumping off the 8 story works car park.
Just as I started driving into the car park, I could hear Van Halen - Jump |
That doesn’t sound good… hope you are well over that period now. Glad you didn’t take Van Halen’s advice! | |
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| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 17:16 - Jun 6 with 2184 views | Ftnfwest |
Yes I know it’s never easy… but at least I’ve never minded the bee gees! All the best |  | | |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 17:16 - Jun 6 with 2186 views | ronnyd |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 14:40 - Jun 6 by Shineyblueknives |
I had a similar experience when I went back to work after nearly jumping off the 8 story works car park.
Just as I started driving into the car park, I could hear Van Halen - Jump |
Hope you are feeling in a better frame of mind now Shiney. It's made me think of a great song by Barclay James Harvest called Suicide. It was written as a memorial to one of the band who took his own life. A sad but beautiful song. Sorry i can't do a link. | | | |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 19:21 - Jun 6 with 1977 views | Keno |
Thoughts are with you and KJ
Much love Hops |  |
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| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 20:16 - Jun 6 with 1899 views | Eireannach_gorm |
No words can relieve a parents pain on the death of child but music/songs can. What an appropriate song you heard as that’s what you have to do, stay alive but never forget. My mother still talks about my brother who was killed in an accident when he was 4, more than fifty years ago.
Go ndéana Dia trócaire orthu. |  | | |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 21:40 - Jun 6 with 1775 views | hoppy |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 20:16 - Jun 6 by Eireannach_gorm |
No words can relieve a parents pain on the death of child but music/songs can. What an appropriate song you heard as that’s what you have to do, stay alive but never forget. My mother still talks about my brother who was killed in an accident when he was 4, more than fifty years ago.
Go ndéana Dia trócaire orthu. |
Absolutely… I guess I should be thankful it wasn’t Living in a box - Living in a box… | |
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| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 00:09 - Jun 7 with 1600 views | hoppy |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 19:21 - Jun 6 by Keno |
Thoughts are with you and KJ
Much love Hops |
Thank you x | |
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| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 18:25 - Jun 7 with 1221 views | NBVJohn |
I was asked by my brother in law to select a piece of music for my sisters funeral.
She was a big fan of the bee gees when we were growing up and that was the first song that sprang to mind.
My sister would have seen the joke, tutted and told me that not everyone shares my sense of humour. I talked myself out of it and played‘Jive Talking’ instead.
I am sorry for your loss. | | | |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 18:44 - Jun 7 with 1178 views | bluelagos |
Good on you Hoppy. Got a mate who lost a child (miscarriage) and never have a clue what to say.
Such an impossibly hard subject but thanks for sharing and helping educate people on what must be a difficult topic.
RIP little one. |  |
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| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 21:26 - Jun 7 with 998 views | Freddies_Ears |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 17:16 - Jun 6 by ronnyd |
Hope you are feeling in a better frame of mind now Shiney. It's made me think of a great song by Barclay James Harvest called Suicide. It was written as a memorial to one of the band who took his own life. A sad but beautiful song. Sorry i can't do a link. |
Just a little correction, Suicide was written in the mid-70s for the Octoberon album. And is a very, very dark song with some incredible lighter moments (As the protagonist stands at the top of the building, perhaps about to jump, he hears someone call out from below: "I heard a voice shouting "Don't jump, please for God's sake, let me move my car" - perhaps the most cynical line ever written). The song title has a ? at the end, leaving some doubt...
The band's keyboardist and fragile genius, Woolly Wolstenholme, struggled with MH issues for many, many years, and finally succumbed to the temptation to leave this world in December 2010. I miss him to this day, and always will. | | | |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 23:27 - Jun 7 with 871 views | Coastalblue |
Thoughts are with both of you mate.
Went to a funeral last year and the coffin came in to Going Underground by The Jam |  |
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| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 08:43 - Jun 8 with 705 views | hoppy |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 18:44 - Jun 7 by bluelagos |
Good on you Hoppy. Got a mate who lost a child (miscarriage) and never have a clue what to say.
Such an impossibly hard subject but thanks for sharing and helping educate people on what must be a difficult topic.
RIP little one. |
I know what you mean. At first, people would avoid saying anything, but the reality is, it’s always helped me to talk about it, or at least be given the choice to talk about it - it can always be declined if they’d rather not.
For us, CT was born sleeping, so we never had the chance to know what kind of boy he would’ve turned out to be in the 11 years since, but remember how tiny he was. KJ hasn’t been able to go back to the cemetery since, whilst I do occasionally, and particularly on his birthday, Father’s Day, Christmas Day, almost without fail if we’re not away, and that helps me, but everyone copes with it differently. I’ve always been very supported on here when I’ve ever posted about it, for which I’m always thankful. | |
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| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 09:51 - Jun 8 with 621 views | Cheltenham_Blue |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 08:43 - Jun 8 by hoppy |
I know what you mean. At first, people would avoid saying anything, but the reality is, it’s always helped me to talk about it, or at least be given the choice to talk about it - it can always be declined if they’d rather not.
For us, CT was born sleeping, so we never had the chance to know what kind of boy he would’ve turned out to be in the 11 years since, but remember how tiny he was. KJ hasn’t been able to go back to the cemetery since, whilst I do occasionally, and particularly on his birthday, Father’s Day, Christmas Day, almost without fail if we’re not away, and that helps me, but everyone copes with it differently. I’ve always been very supported on here when I’ve ever posted about it, for which I’m always thankful. |
Sounds so familiar.
Self and Mrs Chelters lost our first to Miscarriage, I wanted to talk about it, as it really helped me but Mrs C didn't at all. Made it incredibly difficult, as we were living away from family and friends at the time, which meant I had literally no one to talk to; and those who did know, just didn't know what to say so never raised it.
Caused a few issues between the two of us at the time. |  |
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| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 10:15 - Jun 8 with 585 views | bluelagos |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 09:51 - Jun 8 by Cheltenham_Blue |
Sounds so familiar.
Self and Mrs Chelters lost our first to Miscarriage, I wanted to talk about it, as it really helped me but Mrs C didn't at all. Made it incredibly difficult, as we were living away from family and friends at the time, which meant I had literally no one to talk to; and those who did know, just didn't know what to say so never raised it.
Caused a few issues between the two of us at the time. |
My mate did share that as a Dad he feels forgotten at times. People think of the mum and empathise for the horrors of carrying a child and then losing them, but he said Dad's suffer too.
Think the govt have made some small progress allowing the bereaved to get death certificates.which sounds small, but must be "validating" of people's feelings.
Horrible experience and probably a bit taboo in times past, but as ever talking can only help.
Take care both. | |
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| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 12:57 - Jun 8 with 457 views | jpr_23 |
Just to say hope you are ok on what must be a tricky day... |  |
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| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 13:05 - Jun 8 with 419 views | LeBlue |
Don't know you hoppy but sending my love to you.
Your son lives on in your heart and soul and that will never diminish. |  | | |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 16:05 - Jun 8 with 244 views | hoppy |
| Just sitting at the cemetery… on 10:15 - Jun 8 by bluelagos |
My mate did share that as a Dad he feels forgotten at times. People think of the mum and empathise for the horrors of carrying a child and then losing them, but he said Dad's suffer too.
Think the govt have made some small progress allowing the bereaved to get death certificates.which sounds small, but must be "validating" of people's feelings.
Horrible experience and probably a bit taboo in times past, but as ever talking can only help.
Take care both. |
Yes, there is a bit of that, and we were fortunate to find help that from the outset asked me how I was doing, rather than just how was KJ doing, and that seemed out of the ordinary. Things have improved a lot in terms of looking after both partners in a situation like this, doesn't make it any less horrible of course, but much more supportive.
Thanks mate. | |
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